


Work It Out

by Stillreadingfanfictbh



Series: Larry One Shots [13]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Misunderstandings, hiatus/reunion au, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stillreadingfanfictbh/pseuds/Stillreadingfanfictbh
Summary: Harry and Louis can't get their shit together
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Larry One Shots [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162739
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Work It Out

**Author's Note:**

> TW for alcohol abuse and mentions of drug abuse

"Why do you torture yourself like this, Lou?" Zayn asks, he and Louis are standing on the small balcony of a hotel room somewhere in Europe. He forgot where.

"Like what?" Louis asks back even though he already knows what Zayn means.

"With Harry." Zayn clarifies. He knew that Louis already knew what he was talking about, "why don't you, like, stop loving him? Or at least confess your love for him. Keeping it all inside is killing you."

Louis rolls his eyes, "I'm not keeping it all inside, I tell you everything."

Zayn sighs, "I'm leaving, Louis. Who are you gonna talk to when I leave?"

Right, Zayns leaving. Like all bad things, he tries not to think about it. Louis shrugs but doesn't say anything else. Louis silence is answer enough, though. Zayn knows that Louis doesn't plan on talking to anyone about his problems.

"You're going to get depressed like before." Zayn points out, "and you are going to lash out on everyone, like before."

He always mentions before. Before you got a handle on you're life. Before, when you were messed up on drugs and drunk most of the time. Before, when you were still dealing with your mom's death. Before you started talking to me about your problems. Before, before, before.

"I won't." Louis says, "and even if I did, I could still talk to you; I'll blow up your phone with texts and call you whenever I need you. It'll be like you never left."

Zayn doesn't comment. Louis doesn't think about it.

-

"That was great guys," the guy says into the speaker to the boys in the recording studio, "could you sing it one more time?"

The boys don't seem to mind singing the same song over again. They don't mind getting asked to "raise their voice a bit" or "project more." They've sung the same part of "Love You, Goodbye" like four times and Louis is over it. He's been over everything for a while.

Louis rolls his eyes and sings again.

And again.

Finally, he snaps, "isn't that fucking enough?"

Nobody says anything to him, but he knows that even the people outside the studio can hear him, "we've sung this same part like five fucking times! Haven't you gotten enough to work with? Can't we move on?"

Harry grips at Louis's arm and whispers, "Lou, they're just doing their job."

"They aren't doing their job good enough." Louis retorts, pulling his and out of Harry's hand, "if they were, we would be fucking done already."

"We just need it to sound perfect, Louis." The guy says behind the glass wall (what's his name? Surely they told him).

"Whatever," Louis says, walking towards the door trying not to trip over the countless wires, "make it sound perfect without me. I'm out."

Louis walks out of the studio, and out of the building, and straight down the street. God, he's so sick of this. He should have left when Zayn did.

He calls Zayn again. It goes straight to voicemail, it's the twelfth unanswered call this week. The fortieth since he left the band three weeks ago. Louis sighs and turns off his phone completely and slides it in his pocket. He knows that soon enough one of the boys or god forbid his management, will call him. He doesn't really know where he is but it's already dark on the streets. If he walks around enough he's sure to find his hotel (what was the name of his hotel? He really should stop zoning out).

He walks down the street and looks through the window of a few shops. He realizes that he's doing exactly that Zayn said he would. He's keeping everything in then he's lashing out at people who don't deserve it. He's spiraling, and he doesn't know how to stop it.

He turns around a corner and see's a bar, he knows he shouldn't walk in. He's been sober for over a year now, but he's lonely and he's so sick of feeling like- like what? He doesn't even know what he feels. He feels like shit for making everyone else feel like shit, he feels like shit for making himself feels like shit. How does he even stop that?

Louis walks into the building and makes his way straight to the bar. He sits on the stool and orders a rum and coke and he doesn't even feel like he is in control of his own body anymore. He doesn't drink right away. He stares at the drink until his eyes go blurry, and the bartender comes by to ask if he drinks is okay.

Louis nods and picks the drink up from the bar and holds it in his hand for a few minutes. He really shouldn't drink it. He has coping mechanisms for times like this but none of them come to mind. All he can think about is how shit he is: he's shitty for treating the boys like shit, for treating their team like shit, for treating himself like shit, and he's shitty for depending on Zayn so much.

Louis downs the entire rum and coke quickly. He wonders if anyone is looking for him if any of his bandmates would think to look for him here. If they would be as disappointed in him as he is in himself.

He orders another drink. And three more after that. Someone must have noticed Louis at the bar and spread the information, there are cameras waiting at the door and young girls filing into the bar.

Louis realizes this and finds his way to the bathroom to hide in a stall and call someone. It takes him a while to figure out how to lock the bathroom stall, it takes him longer to turn on his phone, and even longer open to his phone app and click on the first contact that comes up.

He realizes too late that he stupidly called Zayn. It goes straight to voicemail, and unlike every other time, he leaves a voicemail.

"Zayn," Louis sounds obviously drunk, his accent is thicker and his words slur together, "I'm sorry, man. You were right all along, I can't do this without talking to som-someone. Without talking to you. I didn't know that that last night on the ba-balc- what's that word? Another word for porch but high. I don't know. I didn't know that that last night we talked would be the last night we would talk. You shouldn't have left me. I should have left with you."

Louis blinks and hangs up, there's still the issue that there are about fifty fans and press outside at the bar waiting for him. He calls Harry.

"Louis?" Of course, Harry picks up on the first ring, "Louis, where are you?"

Louis can't seem to get his words out and he's a bit dizzy, "I'm at a bar. I-i don't know the name? It was at a corner somewhere. There are people waiting for me, they want to take pictures of me."

Harry doesn't say anything for a second, "you're drunk."

"I'm sorry." Louis replies, and shit here come the waterworks, "I'm so shit. God, I'm such a fuck-up."

"Look, Lou, stay where you are. Paul and I are gonna come get you. Is your location on?" Harry asks.

Louis nods but realizes that Harry can't hear a nod, so he says "yes" before Harry hangs up. All the boys have an app on their phone that sends their location to their main security guard.

Louis pukes on the ground and on himself. He forgot that he was sitting on a toilet that he could have puked in. Paul and Harry find him in the stall covered in his own puke and crying on the toilet.

Paul basically carries Louis out to the car, they entered through the kitchen of the bar and took Louis out the same way. Despite that there were still a few camera's, Louis isn't sure that they can pay their way out of this one.

None of them say anything on their way back to the hotel. Paul hands Louis a bucket to puke in, and Louis pukes in it the minute it's in his hand. Harry rubs Louis back in an attempt to comfort Louis.

When Louis isn't puking he's repeating, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm shit, I'm sorry."

Louis wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache. Someone must have taken off his spoiled clothes and left him in his boxers in his hotel room. There's a bucket beside his bed filled with puke, and it makes him puke again. He's surprised that he has anything left in him.

The phone on the bedside table is ringing.

"Hello?" Louis's voice sounds scratchy.

"Hey, Louis, we have an interview today you need to get ready." It's Niall, he doesn't sound happy, he probably heard about what happened last night.

Niall hangs up without listening to Louis's reply. Louis forced himself out of bed, he looks through his bag for some pain medication and some airplane crackers.

An hour later he is following Paul and the boys out of the hotel. No one has spoken to him since he saw them, and the whole ride to the interview is silent.

The interview is shit too, they all have to fake happiness and Louis has a hangover and everything is shit. The longer he is awake the more he remembers from the night before. It takes him a couple of hours for the realization that he is no longer somber to really hit him.

They are at the recording studio again but they aren't recording. Liam has asked everyone that isn't the band to leave the room because they wanted to talk to Louis.

Louis the first to talk says, "I'm so sorry."

Everyone just looks at him sadly, Liam says, "I know that you were taking Zayn leaving really hard, but you should have told us that it was this bad, that it was drinking bad."

"You tried so hard to get somber, Louis." Niall continues, "you can't just toss it all away."

Louis already knows this. All he could think about all day is how he is ruining everything. He disappointed everyone last night. He wonders what Zayn would think about Louis drinking again. If he even cares anymore or if he would be just as disappointed as Louis is in himself. God, Louis misses him.

"I'm sorry," Louis croaks, "I'm so sorry."

Harry is rubbing Louis back again and shit Louis can't take this. His feelings for Harry only make him feel shittier knowing that they are unrequited. He turns his head away from his friends and pulls away from Harry.

"I didn't realize it was bad until I walked passed the bar." Louis mumbles, "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that you're sorry." Harry says, he sounds hurt and he has a right to be, "if you were sorry you wouldn't have drunk, to begin with."

Louis doesn't say anything, but tears are rolling down his face again.

"I was so worried last night, Louis." Harry continues, "I was so, so worried. We all care about you so much and we don't want what happened to you before to happen again. We just want you to be happy. I want you to be happy."

Louis doesn't say anything. Every word that they say makes Louis feel shittier and shittier.

"I think we should take a break," Niall says. Louis is surprised, but the other boys look like they've heard this from Niall before. They seem like they agree, "I think we all need to settle down separately. To figure out who we are as individuals. Zayn leaving and now this made me realize that we are too co-dependent on each other. Louis, you need to get help, and the stress of this band will not help you."

Louis is too shocked for words. He never thought that this would be coming from Niall. Sure, Louis has thought about leaving after Zayn left, but was he serious? And since when did the band start having conversations like this without Louis? He feels totally excluded.

"Obviously, we would finish the tour and we would finish recording." Liam continues, "but we all have separate sounds and we want different things. We need to step away from this chaos and breath. You need a break, Lou, you need to get yourself together."

"Do you guys really want to separate?" Louis asks, he still crying, "or are you saying this because you think I need a break. I can't be the downfall of this band. I don't want to ruin everything."

"No, Lou." Harry says, "sure we want what's best for you, but this is also about us. We need a break too."

Louis nods, though he isn't sure that he really believes him.

"I talked to management about it." Niall says, "they said that they agree, especially once they heard about last night. So they are going to set it up."

Louis is so sad. This can't be the end of them, they should stick together at times like this, not separate. Now is when Louis needs them most. He doesn't know what to do with himself, Louis just wants to forget this conversation, forget that he fucked everything up.

Liam and Niall leave the room to Harry's request, apparently, Harry wanted to talk to Louis alone. They sit in silence until Harry works up the courage to say, "Zayn called me last night after I had put you to bed."

Put him to bed, God, Louis feels like a child. But Zayn called Harry? Why would he call Harry?

Harry must see the confusion on Louis's face because he says, "he wanted to make sure you were okay. He said that you left him a voicemail."

Louis nods, but lets Harry continue talking, "Zayn told me to tell you that you have to talk to someone and that you should tell me something."

Louis wants to punch Zayn. All of this stopped being his business the day he left. And why didn't he call Louis himself?

"What was he talking about?" Harry asks, "what do you have to tell me?"

Louis doesn't say anything, he looks away from Harry. A blush is crawling up his neck and finding its place on his cheeks.

"It's nothing, Harry." Louis mumbles.

Harry sighs, but pulls Louis into a hug. Louis back is pressed against Harry's chest.

"You can tell me anything, I will never judge you." Harry says, "seriously, you will always be my best friend."

That's the thing, isn't it? He will always be Harry's best friend nothing more.

Louis sighs, "I'll tell you about it one day, but not now. Not today."

Harry nods sadly, there is a pause in the conversation before Harry says, "In that case, I think you need to see a therapist."

Louis tenses against his chest and goes to pull away from Harry's arms, but Harry keeps a tight embrace on him.

"You won't talk to any of us, Lou, but you need to talk to someone. We can do what we did last time and have someone come on tour with us." Harry says, "you can't keep everything in all the time."

Louis nods, he knows. He really does, but he doesn't want to talk to people, talking about shit makes it all definite and real.

"I'll talk to management about getting me a shrink," Louis says.

-

Their last show is four weeks later, it's a very teary show. Everyone, even the fans, are crying.

Louis hasn't drunk since that night, his therapist has been helping him out a lot and she even thinks that Louis should tell Harry his feelings. Belle, his therapist, thinks that telling Harry would be a weight off his chest. A door to Louis's new life, without the band, without secrets. Louis decided that he would tell Harry tonight.

After the show, all the boys go to their separate depressing rooms to get out of their tight clothes and into something more comfortable. Louis waits for Harry outside of his dressing room when he is done changing. He knocks on it.

Harry opens the door, his eyes are red and rimmed. Louis realizes he is probably sad about the end of their tour. Their last show for a while.

"Can I talk to you?" Louis asks, he is a bit stuttery and shaky.

"Yeah," Harry opens his door more to let Louis in. Louis walks in and sits on the couch in his dressing room.

Harry sits next to him, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Louis says quickly, he feels a little sick, "do you remember that conversation we had a couple of weeks ago. When Zayn called you and told me to tell you something. And I told you th-"

"That you would tell me about it sometime." Harry interrupts, "yeah I remember. You're going to tell me?"

Louis nods, "promise that you won't be upset?

"Of course, Lou. I promise."

Louis feels a bit sick, but he forces himself to say, "I'm in love with you. Like properly. I've loved you for years, like, I think I realized it on our Take Me Home tour."

Harry just blinks, like he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't say anything so Louis continues.

"I'm not expecting you to say it back. I'm not really expecting anything, honestly. If you don't feel the same I understand, really." Louis says.

Harry still doesn't say anything.

Louis takes the silence as an answer in itself. So, Harry doesn't love him back. That's that, at least Harry knows now and Louis doesn't feel suffocated by his own secret.

Louis stands up from the couch, "Uhm, I guess I'll just go. You know now, about everything."

Harry nods but still doesn't say anything. He just lets Louis leave his dressing room.

That's the last thing they say to each other for four years.

-

Louis's life completely changed the last couple of years. He has a kid, Freddie, who was an accident but is now the love of his life. Freddie lives in California with his one night stand turned good friend. He was a judge on the X-Factor (twice!), he released an album and went on tour for his amazing fans.

Life is treating him well, but his time as a solo artist is coming to an end. All the boys got together and decided that the time is rights to get back together. The plan is to do a quick MITAM tour before recording another album.

The only problem is that Louis hasn't spoken to Harry at all over the last four years. Harry avoided him at parties of mutual friends and didn't speak to him at all during or after group meetings. Louis still hasn't gotten over Harry, no matter how hard he tried (he really tried hard. His therapist says that Louis should keep Harry always in his heart, but that he should move on. He can't.).

The first practice for the tour is shit. Louis fucks up his vocals, Liam sounds like he's trying to rap, Harry and Niall, seem to be goofing off and playing random things on the guitar. Louis already has a headache, and it's only been two hours.

After five hours the stage manager has given up on the boys. He told them to leave and come back tomorrow. Louis never thought that it would be this hard, he thought coming back together would be like old times. He was wrong, solo seems to be much better.

Louis decided that he doesn't want to be alone tonight, so as he's getting ready to leave he asks Liam if they weren't to hang out at his and watch some movies.

"Sorry, mate." Liam says, "Niall and Harry are goin' us for drinks. I told them I would come."

Louis still doesn't drink and is somber (it's been almost three years!), so of course, Liam doesn't invite him along. Louis is a bit sad about being unable to hang with his friends though, he hates being left out.

Liam must see his expression change and says, "I can ditch though if you want me to."

"No no," Louis says quickly, "don't ditch, you have fun with them. I'll just have a night in with a bath, probably a face mask, a little me time with my right hand."

Liam snorts, but pulls Louis into a hug, "okay, call me if you need anything."

"I will, Li, see you tomorrow."

Liam grins at that and says, "it's nice to hear you say that. I'm glad I can see you, and the boys, of course, all the time now. I didn't realize how much I missed having you around until I got you back."

Louis shoves Liam a little and calls him a sap before grabbing his stuff and walking out to his car.

They do basically the same thing for two weeks straight, they have no freedom to breathe between photo shoots, and interviews, and meetings, and practicing. It's all getting a bit much, so obviously by the fourth day, he finds himself calling up his shrink. He doesn't have Bella anymore, but Louis has formed a good relationship with Jonah too.

He and Jonah set up a meeting at Louis house, and it lasts a bit longer than usual (Louis ends up crying. It's hard seeing Harry again so often. It's like a punch to the heart every time Harry goes out of his way to avoid Louis) so Louis ends up being late to rehearsals.

He gets to the rehearsal as quickly as he can, but even then he's over forty minutes late. He sighs and walks into the building with his head down, all the boys watch him as he lays his stuff down and takes off his hoodie.

Liam's the first to question it, Liam seems to be the only one to talk to Louis these days. Niall must have taken Harry's side in the divorce.

"You okay, Lou?" Liam asks he's a bit sweaty, probably because they have all of us walking around and singing and going over our setlist over and over again.

"Yeah, sorry about being late," Louis replies.

"Why were you late?" Niall asks, he sounds nothing but nice, but Louis can't help but feel like Niall's a bit short with him.

"Uh, I was having a nice chat with my shrink," Louis says.

None of them say anything else and they continue practicing. They are all going harder this rehearsal because they only have a couple more days until their first official show in London. They've all incorporated a bit of their own touch into their tour. Along with MITAM songs, they all have some of their own songs on the setlist. Harry and Niall have started to play their instruments during some of the songs. It's all come together really nice, Louis is excited for the fans to hear and see them.

Later, after rehearsal was over, Liam comes over to Louis. Louis was sitting on the couch eating some orange slices and scrolling through Twitter when Liam sits next to him.

"Have you been okay lately? I know it's overwhelming." Liam says.

Louis nods and turns his phone off, "yeah a bit overwhelming. I'm fine."

"I'm only asking because you saw Jonah today. I know you don't see him often anymore. Only when you're stressed or upset." Liam says, "so if you ever wanna talk."

"I know you're always here for me, Li, thanks. But I'm fine, really."

Liam doesn't say anything for a minute or so. Louis has gone back to scrolling through Twitter.

"So you and Harry haven't talked?" Liam asks. Louis isn't surprised that Liam would bring it up. About a year ago Louis had told Liam about how he loves Harry. Liam wasn't surprised about that but was surprised that Harry has ignored him.

"No, he's ignoring me. Obviously." Louis says, "Niall is too."

"I've noticed. I've tried talking to both of them about it and they won't say anything." Liam says sadly, "I just want us all to be close again, you know? I hope this tour helps us."

Louis nods, he leans over and lays his head on Liam's shoulder and says, "I hope so too, but I'm afraid that it's gonna hurt us. We aren't as close to each other like we used to be, we might get annoyed with each other easier. We might snap at each other more."

Liam sighs, "maybe."

Louis closes his eyes and lets himself be comforted by Liam.

-

A week later they are on tour. The first few days are great. Obviously they have a few issues like they forget their lines or run into each other on stage, but Louis loves seeing all their fans again.

Niall has even started talking to Louis a bit, which is great, but Harry is still not talking to Louis and it's honestly getting on Louis's nerves.

So Louis decides to confront him about it. They are on the tour bus, and Liam and Niall are asleep. Harry is tapping away on his phone and Louis is a little fed up.

"Uh, Harry?"

Harry looks up wide-eyed. Like he's shocked that Louis even spoke to him. He collects himself quickly and says, "yeah?"

Louis clears his throat and says nervously, "I, uh, just."

Harry stares at him impatiently. "Anytime now, Louis."

Louis blushes, fuck why is he so nervous? And why is Harry being a dick? Louis should be the one that's pissed. Louis should be angry at Harry for ignoring him.

Louis sighs and finally blurts out, "why are you ignoring me?"

Harry just stares at him and doesn't say anything.

"I just— I don't get it. Is it because I told you that I was in love with you all those years ago?" Louis asks, "I mean you could have just told me that you didn't love me, and I would have just left it. I would have found a way to get over you or something."

Harry looks confused now, "I thought you were joking when you said it."

"What?" Louis asks aggressively. Why the hell would he joke about that? Couldn't Harry tell how upset Harry was that day? How nervous he was?

"You weren't joking?"

"Why the fuck would I joke about that, Harry!" Louis almost yells, but he quiets down into an aggressive whisper so he didn't wake up Liam or Niall. "I'm in love with you, I wouldn't joke about that. I've been in love with you for years. I mean I had to get a fucking shrink to even work up the courage to tell you. You just— you didn't even react. I was broken up about it, Harry. I wouldn't joke about me loving you."

Harry shrinks against his chair, "the night before you told me you loved me I talked to Zayn. I told him that I was, like, in love with you. I thought that he told you and that you were both fucking with me."

"You loved me?" Louis asks his throat tight.

Harry nods and he blushes, "I still do, honestly."

Louis doesn't want to cry but the tears basically force themselves out of his eyes.

"Fuck," Harry says, "shit, I really messed up."

Louis sniffles and nods, "you really did."

Harry stands from the chair he is sitting in and walks over to sit next to Louis.

"Can I fix it, Louis?" Harry asks, he sounds hopeful, "let me take out on a date."

Louis sighs, "how do we know if we even like each other anymore? We haven't spoken in over four years. And I'm so pissed that you didn't believe me, that you would just assume that I would want to hurt you like that."

"I know I'm so sorry." Harry says, his eyes start tearing up, "I'm so sorry. Just let me fix this, I want to try. I think we could work this out. We could be great."

Louis hesitates but nods, "okay."

Harry wipes the tears from his face, "okay?"

"Okay. Let's try it. Don't fuck it up." Louis says with a small laugh.

Harry nods seriously then hugs Louis. Louis hugs back, and it feels so nice just to be around each other again. To just hold each other. Louis really hopes this works out.

end.


End file.
